Gaigin Traps, Homeruns, Eraser Clouds, and Flying Bikes...

So, two more days into the wonderful orgy of outrageousness that is Japan. Now some of you may be looking at the title of this and thinking to yourself, "WTF is a Gaigin Trap", and I am going to reassure you it is not some plan to lure foreigners into dark corners with hourly compensated women and then steal their kidneys. Gaigin Traps are what forigners call the ditches lining the street everywhere in Japan. When I say ditch I don't mean a small dirt depression that carries excess water away to protect a roadway, but more like a concrete cravass ranging from 6-16 inches across and anywhere from 6-40 inches deep in most cases. Now we refer to them in this way because foreigners do not expect such a dangerous gap to be right next to the roadways unmarked and often find themselves in some pain when they step in one at night or on a jog, ride their bike into them, or even their cars. I have had a couple close calls myself! However this particular story I am spared and I get to watch a few other poor bastards hit one at full steam. Several young men were running in a formation down the street and weaving around people walking on the side of the street. Often these Gtraps have grates or loose concrete blocks covering them; but on this street it was 50/50. The first runner lead the pack around a little old lady and then vered to head down an allyway... he was not looking where he was putting his feet though and his right leg went straight down and he hunkered to a painful sounding stop up to his mid thigh in the "ditch". The worst was yet to come, in quick succession his remaining buddies cascaded over him and all came to a very loud and rather hilarious yard sale of runners. You may be thinking, "Jesse you unsensitive son of a biscut, they could really be hurt and that is not funny", and you know what? You are right and I still found it funny because by all means it should have been me doing something like that. I did go help them up and none were hurt, just some scrapes and then they went on their way. It was just too comical though the way they ended up. Best part being they were Japanese, you figure they would know (maybe we should just change the name to man-eaters/traps or devil dikes).

Yesterday I went to Tenno Junior High School and taught five classes, all went well and my introduction lesson to the classes were sublime. They loved me. I did have a break at second period and I went and watched my first periods gym class. They were doing the high jump with mats and everything. I joined them, still in my suit, and showed em the fillsberry flop... you know the one where you arc backwards over the bar? I ended up clearing around 6ft! I think that is better than when I did it in school, haha! They all went crazy and loved it. At luch I finished quickly and joined one class that was playing a softball game out beside the school. The school is a 4 story concrete structure that wraps around the baseball diamond, so in the outfield there are the balconies from the seperate levels streatching the length of the field and big green nets hanging from the top of the school down so no balls break anything. They wanted me to hit some. I had already been playing catch for a bit on the side, but they put the game on hold to have a batting and fielding practice. I got a couple hits in that were all line drives and a couple pop outs. Students and teachers begain to fill the balconies coming out of class to watch. Then it happpened! I belted one over the top of the school! Now this is not a tiny field, its like a normal baseball field for highschool with a 4 story building hemming it in on two sides. The entire student body went absolutely apeshit! I was actually surprised I got such a good hit myself, it was awesome. It must have looked hilarious though, some 7 foot white dude in nice grey slacks, black dress shoes and belt, a nice deep purple dress shirt and matching tie with a beat up bat in the middle of a dirt baseball field with dust wipping up in the scortching heat belting a ball that some 14 year old hurled at him. It was like a russian ganster playing with small imporverished children almost. To the kid who was pitchins' credit he could bring some serious heat, I thought for sure he was going to strike me out! P.S. Tenno J.H.S. is also located on an amazing hillside overlooking the water! It was a pain walking from the train station up to it.

Today I went to Miyahara Junior High School and it was much like that of it's little sib the elementary school in Miyahara. Formal and orderly and in an crazy awesome spot. Though a few classes in the kids really started to warm up to me and were were kidding around and such. They would also let their guard down and tease eachother and whatever in the manner they would if I were not there. So a few of us were sitting down on a break showing eachother our favorite kanji and english words. There were a few others in the class and couple boys cleaning chalk boards and the erasers. They were being somewhat noisy but whatever, it was the break. Then I heard "thwump" and coughing almost immediatly. We all turned to the boys by the blackboards and one had smacked another one in the back of the head with a chalk laden eraser making a huge white cloud around the boys head. It was priceless because his spiky hair was all white, yellow, and pink form the kinds of chalk we had been using. No one told the main teacher when she returned so I also kept my silence because it was not that serious and it was all in good fun really. She really did not seem to care either and shared a laugh at him. The boy was a good sport and kept his hair wacky till cleanup time at the end of the day a few hours later. Turns out the other boy who smacked him was his twin bro and I had not recognised him because of the chalk!

Do you really think bikes fly? They do when they hit gaigin at 20km/hr! I was walking down the road tonight and out of nowhere a young man on a bike rams into my side after emerging from an allyway to my right. I barely had enough time to drop my shoulder a little for protection. He went off the bike and pretty much planted into my shoulder and his bike somehow sprung up in the air and flew to the side like ten feet! It was a lot like a old beetle running into a moose at high speed, you get the picture. Iwas fine, small bruise on the inside of my arm is all. I helped the young man up and helped him get his bike, he also appeared to be fine and so was his bike. He said he was sorry and to have a good evening and then rode off. About five or six other people nearby just watched with their jaws down, only a young girl came and helped get some things that had fallen out of the mans pockets. Heh!

Bonus material for those of you who have slogged your way though this series of stories. We had yet another earthquake this morning. I was in the shower and ran out stark naked to take cover in a concrete doorjam! That brings my tally up to 5 earthquakes, 2 typhoons, and numerous series of floods and landslides I have survived since comeing to Japan.

Take care all and I will update again soon!